You Can’t Control Everything — Keep Going


I changed web hosts and rebuilt my website a month ago.

It wasn’t in the plan.

Either way, I’d outgrown my original setup and needed to make a change. So I did.

Almost immediately, I started having trouble with the new host. The site was offline as much as it was on, and when it went down for two days in my last week with the company (the final day for nearly twelve hours), I knew I had to switch — again — less than a month later.

It wasn’t in the plan.

I’d been publishing steadily for nearly a month (after the hiatus from the first rebuild), but here I was, déjà vu — whether I liked it or not.

I hated to not be consistent with publishing, but what choice did I have? On the day I made the decision to switch, the site wasn’t even online for me to publish. I had to take the break and move the site.

It wasn’t in the plan.

This morning was the first day back. I was tempted to get started with other tasks and delay the writing (a habit I’d deliberately maintained in all the time my site was up and running). Like a dieter who gives up after caving to one cookie, I had a knee-jerk, “what’s-the-point” reaction.

Plans and Control

Over the days of the host change, while I waited for domain transfers, propagation, and all the other wizardry in the Land of DNS, I thought about control and our futile attempts at maintaining it.

We set up publishing schedules and word counts and editorial calendars, only to get sick (or have our website go down) and derail our best-laid plans.

We switch from a one-stop, fully hosted (but limited) website solution to a self-hosted one (in order to have more “control”), only to have the whole site go down and rendered useless.

We decide to eat healthy in the morning, remove all the junk food from the house by noon, and then have Grandma drop off a cake late-afternoon that she spent the whole day baking (especially for us).

We lease to control expenses (and not have surprise maintenance costs), only to have the landlord raise the rent.

We buy a house on the outskirts of town to avoid subdivision restrictions and city ordinances, only to have a pig farmer buy the available acreage next door.

We get married to have stability, only to have our partners change their minds.

It wasn’t in the plan.

Things will always be outside our control.

The plan will always change.

It’s the long game that counts.

I ate the cake. Sure.

But today I’m back on the wagon.

About the author

E.H. Bellefontaine

Evangeline Henry Bellefontaine is the fictional writer behind Maison d'Evangeline (and More Beautiful Good on Medium). She writes mostly on the topics of bibliotherapy (books + therapy), personal growth, and doing the work. Follow by subscribing to Bibliothérapie.

By E.H. Bellefontaine

Guiding Quote

A house extends skyward.
Like a tiny but proud cathedral,
it wishes to generate the highest
and the best in its inhabitants.
— John Truby

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